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Title: Ticket to Devon
Fandom: Green Wing
Characters/Pairings: Carmac, Juliet
Rating/Warnings: PG angst
Length: 622 words
Spoilers: Up to the special
Summary: Juliet is growing up; Mac is growing down.
Disclaimer: None of the characters etc are mine. They belong to Victoria Pile and Channel Four.
Mac sat on the floor helping Juliet to build a castle out of her brightly coloured bricks. They had reached a considerable height when a miscalculated movement on his part brought them all tumbling down with a crash. Thankfully Caroline’s announcement that tea was ready stemmed Juliet’s disapproval and he picked her up to spin her around before dropping her into her high chair. This had the happy effect of making all thoughts of bricks fly out of her head at least, and their attention’s turned to the food which appeared in front of them presently.
Caroline left her own plate and went over to Juliet, “We’ll just cut these sausages up for you now shall we? There we go, nice little pieces for my little girl.” She then proceeded to move around to where Mac sat looking morose, “And I’ll cut Daddy’s up for him as well ‘cos his hands are getting a bit shaky and he can’t quite manage it.” She continued to prattle in the same voice she had used for Juliet as she cut Mac’s sausages into bite-sized chunks for him. She kept her eyes resolutely on the plate and could not see Mac’s brow furrowing at her words.
He didn’t talk much through the meal, not really listening to Caroline either as she told Juliet about her day at the hospital. It was so easy to loose touch with what was going on when you weren’t there living it every day. He stayed inside his head and brooded on recent developments, seething unnoticed while normal life continued around him.
After the meal was over, the desert had been jelly so thankfully he could still manage that by himself. Caroline cleared away while he took Juliet away to watch her favourite Postman Pat video before bedtime. Having ensured that Juliet was engrossed by the events in
The sight of the bricks still scattered all over the floor, a symbol of his earlier defeat, brought his anger to the surface. “Did you have to be so patronising?”
Caroline recoiled slightly “I didn't realise that I was,” she said quietly, not wishing to aggravate him further.
“Do you not realise how fucking difficult this is for me?” he yelled into the silent room. Caroline's sympathetic noises were drowned out by his continuing tirade. “When you're young you live in fear of turning into your parents but I never dreamt I'd be turning into my own daughter.” Caroline stepped forward tentatively and placed a hand on his arm. “That's not true.” He pulled his arm away
“Oh stop pretending! I can't cut up my own food and in a few months she'll be better at walking than I am.”
The hurt look on Caroline’s face melted his anger. He continued in a much softer voice, “It’s just so hard, you know. And I know it’s only going to get worse and there’s nothing I can do about it. People look at me like I’m stupid, but inside I’m still the same person I always was. I hate not being able to do stuff for myself.” His voice tailed away and Caroline pulled him into a hug,
“I do understand, but I don’t have any answers either. It’s just as hard for me to see you struggling and the only way I can cope is by trying to not make it a big deal.”
She pulled out of the hug slightly to place a kiss on his lips, “Can you read Juliet her bed time story while I wash up?” Mac nodded and went upstairs to do one of the things he could still do to help.
Chapter Nine